Swish Away!

Summer is around the corner, and with it comes the unrelenting craving for a completely new wardrobe. I don’t know about you but whenever the weather changes, even slightly, I get this uncontrollable urge to get rid of all the contents in my closet and to go on a huge shopping spree. They might cut off my electricity, and I might not be able to afford to buy milk for a few months, as a result, but when seasons are changing, the ‘need’ to buy new clothes is just too hard to resist.

But even though my daydreams are taken over by images of a taller, slimmer, and a blonder me, strolling around in new clothes, in reality I hardly ever get around to buying anything. You see, even though my first instinct is to get rid of the old stuff and to bring in a ton of newness, the truth is that I have a fetish for anything old and used. I own items so old that they could easily qualify as vintage, but despite how many years go by, no matter how frail they become, and no matter how many buttons they are missing, I could never find it in my heart to throw them away. Now, however, there seems to be some hope for people like me because now, it seems, I can choose to swish them!

‘Swishing’ refers to swapping clothes, shoes and even accessories with those of friends, work colleagues, and in some cases even with complete strangers. To participate in a swishing event you must be willing to ‘donate’ at least one item of your unwanted garments for which you will then be allowed to choose something that you like from what the others have brought.

During Swishing Parties, which is what these events have been dubbed in the United States and the UK, the actual value of the items is hardly taken into consideration. Most of the time the only rule is that the items you bring must be clean, so theoretically, you could ‘donate’ a clean, cheap pair of pants bought many moons ago from a flea market in Marrakech, and end up with a clean, hardly-ever-worn branded shirt from last year’s Gucci collection…and without having to pay a cent.

All this might sound very tempting but before deciding to participate in a swishing party, take my advice and get strong and fit, no no I mean, very strong and fit. Join a gym at least six months before the event, cross train like a mad cow, take some kick boxing lessons, and watch as many wrestling matches as possible. Not only will you lose weight and hence manage to fit into more clothes, but the stronger you are the more chances you have of getting out of a swishing party alive.

You see, the way these parties usually work is like this: a gaggle of women are invited to a venue half an hour before the ‘swapping hour’. Participation usually carries a small nominal fee of not more than €10. This is usually to cover the cost of refreshments, and the rest is donated to a charity of the organiser’s choice. During the first half hour guests hand over the items that they are ready to part with, and in return they are given colour-coded tickets in order to keep track of the number of items each one has brought in. It is during this waiting period that the anticipation starts reaching dangerous heights, ladies start to eye each other’s items and to mentally earmark their favourite pieces. None of the guests are allowed to touch any of the clothes before the clock strikes the ‘swapping hour’ so in order to control their excitement, and in order not to give away which items they’re pining for, most women have a drink or two and start chatting rowdily with each other. Ten seconds before the clock strikes the ‘swapping hour’, the countdown begins, and with a final gong the horde of women is set free to frolic and hunt for items that they like. This is where all loyalties and friendships go to the gutter, because as any woman worth her salt knows, all is fair in love and swishing!

If you bring large sacks of designer frocks, or another participant bearing a bulging wardrobe, you might be granted a few seconds head start of everybody else, and the organizing lady also gets the advantage of choosing three items in advance, but if you happen to be one of the regular participants, then you’d better sharpen your nails and get ready to bulldoze.

If you relish the stress of delayed gratification, if you can live with the possibility of having to part with a good item only to end up with something not worth much, and if you can take the shoving, the bumping and the elbowing from half-crazed women acting like they’re out to protect their golden spawn, then there’s probably no better way to save money whilst enhancing your wardrobe. By swishing you help save the planet by reducing your carbon footprint, and all this whilst socializing and having a drink on the house.

In other words, if you’re fit, and if your body and soul can take it, then there is probably no other way of going on a completely guilt-free shopping extravaganza. So swish away!

Alison Bezzina | 1 Comment | Share Article