Alison Bezzina

Whoever knows me knows that I don’t like pain. Of course, no one really does, but believe me, I become a nut case even when afflicted by the common cold. So, when it comes to physical exertion, I just don’t see the point. I’ve never experienced the post-adrenaline rush that so many claim to be addicted to, so obviously I do not understand why some people risk tooth and limb to climb a mountain, cycle through borders, or swim across oceans, when they can easily take cable cars up mountains, trains across countries and ferries across oceans.

 

Of course, sometimes feeling pain is a good thing. In fact in some cases, not feeling pain, whether emotional or physical, is a clear indication that your wires are crossed and that you need to visit the whacko house sooner rather than later. For example, crying in grief at a funeral is considered healthy, and your ex bawling his eyes out in regret after having slept with your best friend is also very therapeutic. But there’s one universal rule that makes pain healthy – it’s unavoidable! The other type, the one that we consciously walk straight into, is just bizarre.

 

And yet there are all sorts of cruelties that people voluntarily subject their bodies to. Did I say voluntarily? I meant foolishly, because when vanity is the main motivator, these tortures are just plain ridiculous. When Julius Caesar claimed that it is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience, he had no idea what the world would come to. From tattooing and piercing of nerve-packed body parts, to skin branding and skull implants - you name it and people have tried it - all in the hope that it will make them look good and thus feel better about themselves. I would have loved to elaborate on this subject but I felt sick to my stomach just researching for it. For those of you with crossed wires there’s a website you’ll love: www.painfulpleasures.com, and once you’re at it, please let me know where I’m supposed to wear a captive bead ring.

 

What amuses us depends on the culture we’ve been brought up in, genetic coding, and surely the things we’re forced to do and eat as kids, but pleasure and gratification remain largely unexplainable. For instance, I know people who love sports. They train very hard everyday, put their bodies through gruesome ordeals, watch their diets very strictly, constantly put up with joint and muscle aches, are more disciplined than Hitler, and yet cannot stand the anguish and anxiety of sportive competition. The clutch of nerves that grips their stomach at the start line, and the adrenaline rush of the first steps of a race, makes them ‘choke’, which in sportive terms means that they under perform and get even more anxious for their next competition. Then, there are those who literally live for the competitive rush. Extreme cases see a competitive opportunity in everything, and might be suffering from Competition Adrenaline Syndrome (CAS).Their need to win is so strong that it numbs their pain receptors leading to repetitive and grave injuries. People suffering from this condition hold meetings similar to those of Alcoholic Anonymous but I suppose that they are not offered free coffee or refreshments, for fear of another type of competitive ‘choking’.

 

Competitive anxiety is something we all learn to face from a very young age at school, but whilst exams are still stamping out the joys of learning, some children are now being denied the joys of playful competition. This is because some teachers and parents are of the opinion that sportive competition should be eradicated together with running in corridors and of course winning and the satisfaction that comes with it. Soon a child will be better off picking his nose during the Christmas play than expressing his wish to win a sportive event.

 

And don’t they say that there’s a very fine line between love and hate? Well, it seems that the line is even thinner when it comes to sexual pleasure and physical pain. People suffering from a (not so rare) condition called Algolagnia interpret pain signals as erotic pleasure. I suppose that apart from teenage silliness, this condition is what possesses people to give or receive love bites – essentially, a bruise caused from forceful sucking that bursts blood vessels beneath the skin. As the condition progresses, they will most likely graduate to bondage, spanking and whipping for sexual pleasure. Again, because of my squeamishness, and the reputation of this paper, that’s as far as I can go into the merits of Bondage, Dominance, and Sado-Masochism (BDSM) practices, but if your wires won’t short circuit then you can just look it up and have a blast.

 

First Published in The Sunday Times May 2008