Counting On Me

Women have surely come a long way since Jane Austin’s, Elizabeth Bennet. But whilst a woman’s future might no longer depend entirely on landing a well-to-do husband, and more women are doing it for themselves, many still leave financial planning and official financial matters in the hands of their men.

Elaine Bonello is a Chartered Financial Planner and a Director at Financial Planning Services Ltd. She has been in the finance business for 19 years, during which she has comes across this gendered situation on a daily basis. ‘More often than not, a couple are convinced that the wife already has too much on her plate with taking care of the children and the home, and that she doesn’t have the time to get involved in financial matters. This is usually closely followed with the sweeping statement that the husband is more financially savvy anyway.’

‘The sad part is that by and large, most women only start to take an active role in finances when they have to, typically after going through a separation or death. I have seen this happen time and time again with a number of my clients, and this is why I cannot stress enough that finances are not gender specific. It is important for both husband and wife to have the full picture. It does not make sense to separate family and household budgeting from other financial matters like savings, life- policies and other investments.’

As Elaine Bonello rightly states – financial matters are not gender specific, but this is not to say that women’s needs are exactly the same as those of men. Although the general principle of financial security is universal, women have a set of different realities that apply mostly to them, if not exclusively to them:

* Worldwide women live an average of 7 years longer than men, so they need more savings (20%) to see them through retirement.
* Women are usually the ones who have to leave work in order to raise children and sometimes to take care of their elderly parents. In the long run this obviously results in less savings.
* Despite laws against it, and politicians raving about it in their political mandates, even after years of feminist fighting, women still earn less than men, even for the same job. This automatically results in lower social security benefits and pensions.
* In the US, 1 in every 4 women are broke within two months of their spouse passing away.
* 87% of the elderly people living under the poverty line in the US are in fact women.

Sandra Aloisio is married with kids. Her husband is currently the only breadwinner, but she is the one who manages the household finances. ‘We never actually discussed the issue as to who will manage the household finances, however when we opened our first joint account, years ago, the account was in my name and consequently the ATM card and cheque book too. This meant that I was automatically responsible for paying the bills and taking care of all the shopping and purchases. Over the years it kind of became the norm and, my husband does not mind the situation as this is a good excuse for him to avoid being responsible for the boring task of paying bills and budgeting.’

‘Last year we purchased a new house and I was the one responsible for managing the monies, contracting, payments and purchases. My husband was thus conveniently spared of this whole headache. His sole responsibility is that of earning the money which is probably why he doesn’t, and shouldn’t, feel emasculated in any way. It would be great not to have to bother with the tedious tasks of managing the money, but then again, I’ve been doing it for so long I can’t imagine it being any other way.’

Ruth* has been separated from her husband for 7 years. She has full custody of her two children who are now aged 14 and 10. ‘When I was still married and worked full time I used to earn more than my husband. Now that we’re separated my ex husband contributes one third of our monthly income in the form of child maintenance. When I was still married I managed the family budget, and it wasn’t because I made more money but because I am a better manager. Sometimes, my ex-husband would complain about my choice of financial priorities which, by the way, were always based on putting the children first.’

‘I know of some men who always want to be in control of everything, in order to show that they are powerful, and also because they lack trust towards their partner, but generally most women I know are better at managing money than their spouses. Women seem to automatically get the responsibility of settling the bills, filing bank records, cooking, tending to the kids’ needs, shopping, and all those things that men feel are boring. If I had another option I would love not to have this responsibility but a viable option doesn’t seem to be on the cards at all. When I was still engaged to my husband to be, I used to try to discuss financial investments to secure our future, but his mind was always elsewhere, so I took sole decisions on all our insurance policies, home loan, terms of payment, buying the house and everything else.’

Josianne* has been married for ten years. She has two children under three. ‘At the moment I am a full-time mum and this is why I am currently taking care of our home finances. When both of us were still working we were not really bothered or worried about our financial situation. Money was flowing in and out of our accounts, but now that we are down to one pay we need to be more careful and to keep track where the money is going. My husband is totally ok with me taking this on. He couldn’t be bothered with it in fact. This does not mean that he’s in my control in anyway because we both have credit card accounts, and if we want to spend money, we are both free to spend it in any way we like.’

‘I wouldn’t say that women are generally better with managing money than men, but in our case it stands. Even though I am not working at the moment we still see it as ‘our money’ since I’m contributing in a different way by being at home. Though most times it’s my husband who does the actual investing we discuss our options before anything is decided upon. The only reason why he takes this under his wing is that he knows some reliable people who advise him so it’s much easier to channel this job through him.’

Joanna Micallef has been married for almost 3 years, with an 18 month old child and another bun in the oven. ‘At the moment my husband works full time and I’m a full-time mum, but I’m the one who manages the money. It’s been like this from the start of our married life. He can’t be bothered with managing the money himself because for starters he is responsible for procurement and tendering at work. Also, it is very convenient for him because he does not have the responsibility of paying bills, going to the bank, doing the paper work and all that, which I must admit gets rather boring at times! I believe that fitting men or women into specific roles is pretty passé. Men who feel emasculated because their partner takes care of money matters are, in my opinion, pathetic, because, if they must, there are far more important ways of proving their masculinity.’

‘In my opinion, most women are also better at managing in general because we tend to think more long term and have better foresight. In fact I also take care of our investments. It is important to plan in order to give the kids a helping hand, to give them a good start in life, and to be financially secure for when we retire. Becoming a mother has made me more aware of how to spend money. Whereas before it was all about ‘what I like’, now it is more about ‘what I need’. I do not think of it as a sacrifice though. I think it is very natural that today because I get more satisfaction out of seeing the whole family happy, rather than carrying a designer bag myself! Ultimately I do prefer being in control, possibly because I know that I am better at planning our financial security in the long term, but also because I do not want to run the risk of having our electricity cut off because he forgot to pay the bill!’

Elaine Bonello has seen a lot of things change over the years, but how much further have we got to go? ‘When I first started working in the male dominated world of finance, I used to sense a bit of unease during initial meetings with clients, but it always dissipated once the meeting got going, and the person soon realised that I knew what I was talking about,’ says Elaine.

‘More women have their own careers nowadays, so there’s never been a better time for women to take control of their financial futures however the norm is still that finance is a man’s domain. In 99% of the cases that I come across, even when the wife takes care of the household finances, it is usually the husband who takes the family’s investment decisions. Women tend to prefer the “safer” kind of investments in fact I find that females rank safety of capital as their No 1 priority when considering any kind of investment. Women have over the years been stereotyped and believe the common misconception that finance and investment is a man’s concern, but things are gradually changing. Twenty or thirty years ago, women’s earning power was significantly less than it is today, but now, even though it is still a bit of a big deal to take the first step, women are realising that they need to get themselves sorted financially.’

Deb* is in her late forties. She is married with three children and lives mostly on social benefits and the money she makes from some freelance jobs. Deb’s social life is non-existent and she has not bought new clothes for herself in over a year. ‘My husband gets more in benefits that myself but his money goes straight into my bank account as, quite frankly, he is useless with money. It has always been this way, and always will be, even though sometimes he moans about not having money in his pocket while I have money in my purse. I explain to him (again!) that it is not my money, but it is money to pay for food, gas, and electricity. That’s when he (usually) shuts up! Some men are embarrassed about the fact they are terrible at managing money. If my husband was better with money then I would more than happily hand over all the responsibility to him.’

‘Look around you – it is clear to me that women are better at managing money. We prioritise, we pay the things that need paying first, when we go shopping we would have planed meals in advance and buy only the necessary ingredients. Men on the other hand tend to think of that day’s meals, and blow the entire budget on it. I would love the situation with my family to be different because making sure that there is enough money to cover all our essentials is a daily headache. We have tried it the other way once. I gave my husband control for two weeks and it took me three months to get back on track! I take care of our investments and financial planning too. Since I’m the computer literate one I can shop around for the best deals. I run them past my hubby but he just goes along with it.’

According to a recent study by the National Association of Investment Clubs (NAIC) which is a non-profit organization that focuses on teaching people how to employ fundamental analysis to become successful long term investors – women’s investment clubs outperformed their male counterparts by a wide margin in 9 out of 12 years.