Checking The Oil

When someone mentions that they have come across a couple checking the oil in their car, we immediately think of lusty teenagers who have nowhere else to bump and grind in. But the truth is that, nowadays, it could be a couple of any age or gender who choose to butter their muffins outdoors.

Whether it is an illicit affair, or just a long term couple looking to put some zing back into their love life, baking cookies in a car is no longer exclusively for the younger generations.

To successfully be able to churn the butter in a car you need to choose a vehicle that is, how should we say, accommodating? Pain, discomfort, pinched muscles and a leg out of a window do not augur well for a good cake mix… never mind how hungry you are!

A Smart Car is probably the last vehicle that you would think of for this job, and yes, admittedly, it is restrictive. But have a look at the Smart Fortwo. This car’s limited space can be turned into an intimate love haven. Since it’s a cabriolet, the unlimited headroom makes way for comfortable vertical arrangements, however we do recommend this for the younger, more agile participants, as an advanced level of flexibility is definitely required.

There are other cars which fit into the category of ‘small and sexy’, like the Daewoo Matiz and the Mini. Both provide interesting challenges, and give rise to plenty inventive ideas. If you are in a model with a sun roof, be creative with the extra head room, if only for keeping a look out!

It kind of follows reason that if the car is sexy, it will make you feel the same way. Cool, sleek lines on the outside, and soft, leather seats on the inside can really get you in the mood. There are quite a few cars that tick these boxes -the Citroen C6 for instance, with its extremely curvaceous body which make you instinctively want to run your hands over it. The multi adjustable seats and sound proofing system make it an ideal candidate for a spot of loving. And, if you are the owner of a BMW 1 series, we do hope that you have christened the back seats as we’re pretty sure that the comfort factor is a major plus when getting down to business in this beauty.

There should be a rule somewhere which says that drivers should not drive cars that are more desirable than themselves. If you drive a sports car for instance, you should be somewhat sporty. And in no way does this mean that you sport a ton of lard instead of a six pack! Unfortunately because of the aging pilots who go through the mandatory mid-life crisis, this is hardly ever the case.

A Porsche 911 Carrera oozes sex appeal out of its every pore. Just looking at it stirs your emotions, and once you have been a passenger in this epitome of style and elegance, you will also be raring to drive it and then….. In the same vein we have the Ferrari F40. Its profile is long, sleek and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up with its promise of pure, unbridled passion.

The Rolls Royce Phantom is very roomy and benefits from soft and luxurious upholstery. You can really stretch out here and have more scope for whichever horizontal mambo style you prefer. Should you fancy it, the length of the bonnet also allows for some al fresco loving.

The Bentley Continental is big, bold and takes on the role of the alpha male. The interior has the same benefits as the Rolls Royce, but the Bentley’s profile is altogether sexier with its deep curves and serious allure.

Which car is very long, very classy and the ultimate in luxury? Yep, you’ve got it, the Limousine. Now very few of us are in the income bracket to have one standing in our drive, so hire one for a few hours. Don’t worry about the chauffeur, he can’t see you and, even if he could, he couldn’t care less as he will have seen it all before, so to speak. Treat yourself and your lover to a trip that you will never forget and where satisfaction is guaranteed.

You would think that all of the vehicles in the luxury car bracket would get you in the mood, but you would be wrong. Some are just too cold, detached and send out a feeling of remoteness like most SUVs especially the terrifying Hammer.

So just think about your car now. Is it just a vehicle to get to work in, or could it be a real passion wagon, a fun cargo, a whoopee machine? There’s only one way to find out!

Disclaimer – Bumping the uglies in public is somewhat illegal. Before getting busy make sure that your love vehicle is on private property and inaccessible to the general public. This disclaimer does not cover misuse, pulled muscles, pregnancy, motor vehicle crashing, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God. The author disclaims all liability, including liability for infringement of any proprietary rights, relating to use of information in this article.